So there was one point in my life, I believe that it was...7th grade? I took a questionnaire at my youth group. I can't remember any of the questions on it, except for one. Now, the reason I remember it, is because I got some heat from my parents concerning my answer. This is what the question looked like.
How often are you grateful?
1. Hardly ever
2. Once or twice a week
3. I am in a constant state of gratefulness.
Ok. Can you blame me for picking the last one. As my 12 year old self reviewed these answers, I thought to myself, "Hmm...surely I'm grateful more than 'Hardly ever', and I'm definitely grateful more than 'Once or twice a week....I'm not in a CONSTANT state of gratefulness...but when Jason reads this, he's going to think I'm a jerk. Better circle the last one."
For the next few years, I was haunted by this answer every time I complained, whined, or did something ridiculous. By my natural state of being a teenager, it's not a wonder that this memory is drilled into my brain.
I'll admit it. I wasn't grateful when I was in middle school. Not even a little bit. Maybe even to the point where I probably could have circled the first one. The only reason I thought I was grateful was because, well, I was told that I was. The only reason I thought I was blessed was because, well, I was told I was. I simply hadn't experienced enough to really KNOW my life is darn near perfect. As Ann-Margaret once said, I've got a lot of livin' to do.
I think it's probably safe to say I've grown up and seen a lot more since then. Even just this summer.
I've definitely been blessed with my life.
On August 4th, I turned exactly 16 and a month old. I was the same age as a friend of mine who died tragically in a car accident. I realized that day I've been blessed with time.
A few days later, an even closer friend of mine got in a car accident who STILL doesn't realize how lucky he is to be alive. That day I realized I was blessed with wonderful friends that would stay up until 2 o clock in the morning with me while I waited on a phone call, along with many other things.
I've never felt true, honest to goodness hunger.
After seeing the recent shootings in downtown Kansas City and the unraveling school district down there, I've realized I'm blessed with my education and my house.
I'm sitting here drinking dLo water. In this bottle is probably more clean water than some people get in a week. Good grief.
Recently, maybe in the past....week. I've begun to notice these little things. A lot of these little things. And I've begun taking two seconds to thank God for them. And then when I'm done with that, I notice another little thing. And thank God again. And soon enough, I'm talking to God all day long.
Yes, my junior year has been UBER UBER stressful already. I'm still your average awkward teenage who is incredibly naive and knows more about movie trivia than the economic situation of Spain. But at the end of the day, I'm really, honestly, happy. Even though I burden my mother with my constant mood swings, and dramatically sprawl across her bed every afternoon when my newspaper design isn't even close to being finished. Or when I'm bored. Or when I'm frustrated with my English paper. I think that she can tell you that I may be beginning to understand a "constant state of gratefulness" Or....maybe not. Don't ask her.
P.S. I've also began to take ten minutes out of my morning to read The Message Remix: Pause, which is a bible split up into daily readings. I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend it if you're not one of those people who wigs out when things aren't in chronological order.
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